Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Confessions....My Love Affair & Addiction


I believe the title is what catches the eye. You know, like when a ray of light hits something shiny and the reflection catches your eye…and then maybe you look over at what it is with the intention of just getting a glimpse but whatever it was holds your attention for more than just a moment…. Well I hope I can hold your attention longer than just a moment.
Everybody’s got a story and a past and as much as they are different, they are the same. Mine today is about my Love Affair & Addiction with Food….What, you were thinking I meant something else?
Weather you grew up skinny or chubby. Weather you grew up well off or poor as church mice. Weather you grew up in a dysfunctional family or no family at all. If you listen intently to another person’s story you’ll start to find similarities between you & them. My hope is that by reading mine you’ll find things to relate to and when you’re finished you’ll go away with feelings of excitement and empowerment and make some positive changes for yourself. That’s what happened to me recently after reading a friend’s Blog post about her struggles with weight loss.
It’s a Blog similar to mine. She writes for the enjoyment of it, and it’s pretty much intended for her family and friends so that they may check in and see how she, her husband and 2 beautiful children are doing. It just so happened that when I realized she had a Blog and decided to check it out on that particular day it was about, well like I said, her struggles with weight. I actually am not a believer in coincidences. I feel everything happens for a reason, that there is an intended purpose for all things. I feel I was guided step by step that day……. And it goes a little something like this
 After reading her Blog post and commenting on it she then turned me onto someone else who had an even bigger impact on me, Mama Laughlin! (we will have to discuss her at a  later date) which in turn sent me to a Facebook group, Mama Laughlin’s Fit Club. You have to be “invited in” and THANK YOU Brittany Bucher for the part you’ve played in changing my life from that day forward! **please know that I did then and still am thanking God first and foremost** This FB group was started by “fans” of Mama Laughlin and I’m not sure exactly when the group started but it grows and grows every day!  I just joined a couple of weeks ago and it has doubled in size, the members, not me HA! This group of women has turned out to be another blessing. I’d like to thank them all like I just did Brittany but there are too many to even BEGIN to list, but Thank You Camp Counselor (Jen) for starting the group and doing all that you do there!! (yet another topic you will most definitely hear about at a later date & post)
Anyways… as I said above,” I do not believe in coincidence”. I had just been to my doctor, again, for the 3rd time in just a couple of months for this very reason, my weight and how to get rid of the bulk of it. I left there feeling angry, depressed and hopeless. I had been in search of, not the Fountain of Youth (cue the choir and halo of lights) BUT,“THE FOUNTAIN OF SKINNY”..…..can I get a Amen!                                                                                              I had tried just about every over the counter slimming, detoxing, fat burning, appetite suppressing drink, drop, pill, elixir that I could buy, with the exception of Ali ‘cause I just couldn’t fathom the thought of going around all day with greasy farts. Too much information? Sorry but that’s what happens when you take that stuff hAhA!                                                                             I had FINALLY convinced my doctor to put me on Phentermine, don’t judge, yes Phentermine. It used to be PhenPhen but they took one of the Phens out so it was only half as dangerous (cue crooked smile).  Of course it didn’t work for me! I got a tiny rush for about an hour after taking a pill and an irritating 24/7 headache… no appetite suppressing going on here. So I stopped taking it after 2 weeks and went back to the doc. Let me say this first, I like my doctor. I respect him and trust him as my Physician.  I find him to be very knowledgeable and up to date on current medical know how…with that said, when I left him that day I would have punched him right in the face had it not been for my wonderful, caring, supportive husband being there with me….holding my hand…tightly….so that I wasn’t able to form a fist to punch with!  The NERVE!  My doctor had the gall to tell me, “Sandra. If you really want to lose the weight and get into shape you are going to have to eat better, measure everything, count every calorie and implement some real exercise into your life.”  WHAT!  I thought you were going to give me a prescription for that secret stuff that all those fit & toned people take. Instead you’re telling me I have to work for it AND WORK HARD!  I hate you. I hate skinny people. I hate this fat girl dress I’m wearing. No George, I DO NOT want to go get some lunch! I hate lunch. I hate food. I just want to go home and get under the covers and not move from there, EVER!                                                          ‘Cause I’m too fat to move anyways!WAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHhhh!!                                                  (Taking a deep breath now…….)
So I’m kinda goin’ full circle with this… after I did get home, calm down and ate me one last fat girl meal I had decided to get online and start looking into healthy living and instead I went to Facebook first which is where I came across a conversation that had nothing to do with me. It was a conversation between Brittany and another person. But in the posting Brittany had mentioned writing in her Blog. I was like” hey, cool, I have a Blog also Brittany. You should check mine out sometime. I’m gonna go look at yours”…. And now I’m pretty much back at where I started writing to begin with.
I have always loooved food. I love the way it looks, the way it smells, the way it taste. How a good piece of chocolate can make you feel happy. How a warm bowl of soup can make your tummy feel good. How a fork full of spicy & sweet scrumptiousness can feel like a party in your mouth. Ok, you get the picture….                                               
 I titled this Blog Post Love Affair & Addiction because that is what I feel like my relationship with food was, **note that I said WAS**, Instead of appreciating food for what it is intended for I had taken it to a whole new level. I looked at food as if it were something I wanted, not needed. I’m ashamed to say that I have lusted over food before…seen a creamy dish of alfredo and tortellini or a slice of chocolate cake with chocolate ganosh & chocolate icing and imagined how good that was going to taste and all the flavors that was going to melt in my mouth…. Yeah, I call that lusting. The affair part comes into play for all of the times that I have hidden food, from my kids, from my husband, co-workers… for reasons that are shameful also. Maybe I didn’t want to share. Maybe I didn’t want to be seen eating ANOTHER piece of cake. Maybe I didn’t want to be seen sneaking food at 11:00 at night when I should be sleeping instead of eating or maybe I just didn’t want to be judged…either way it was wrong. The addiction part is the hardest part. I have eaten so that I wouldn’t be sad or mad or bored. I have eaten even when I wasn’t hungry just because the people around me were eating and I didn’t want to be different. I have eaten because I was lonely. I have eaten because I didn’t want to waste the food… so to all of a sudden NOT eat for these reasons is a foreign thing to my mind & body and I have to treat this & battle this just as I would had it been drugs or alcohol, even more so. Because when you fight addiction you are not just quitting but you are removing that addiction from your life. You can’t do that with food… food is an absolute necessity…. Let me make myself very clear. I, in no way claim to be a nutritionist, psychologist or expert any  field other than my very own life and how I lived and how I am choosing to live now. I just know what has worked for me and what hasn’t and if someone can benefit from any of this then it makes writing all of it and putting my business out there worth it for me.                                                                      So where do I go from here?  How do I do this?
I’ve told you about why I started doing this so I will tell you how I did this and when to start……You start today, not on Monday or after the big family get together, TODAY and you start with your mentality.  You start by telling yourself every day, 100 times a day if you need to, that food, although it can be enjoyed, is NOT for your enjoyment! By no means am I implying that you can’t enjoy your food, Please, Enjoy it! Enjoy creating recipes and taking them from paper to plate. Enjoy shopping for your food, preparing a meal and being told how delicious it is! Savoring different spices and foods from all over the world…and so on and so on…I actually think all of that is a good thing. What I am saying is that when you are shopping, preparing, serving or eating you should….
#1. Acknowledge that you are giving your body what it needs NOT what it wants, there is a difference. Your body & mind need healthy, clean, nourishing ingredients to function properly, but if you’ve been living like me then your mind is going to say I just need FOOD. Period. I don’t care if it’s grilled, fried, baked, covered in bacon grease or thawed out and microwaved, JUST GIMME SOME!  And then you’re going to find yourself  sluggish, tired, depressed, overstressed, irritable, constipated and overweight just to name a few. So you have to learn to make better choices, healthier ones.
 #2. Start taking the time to look at labels. Did you know there are ½ the amount of calories in plain low-fat Greek yogurt than there is in sour cream and that plain low-fat Greek yogurt taste the same as sour cream? That’s just one example of a thousand on what you can learn by reading labels. p.s. I like the low-fat Greek Yogurt even better than sour cream.
 #3. If you are wanting to lose weight that obviously means your overweight, and weather it’s 10 lbs. or 150 lbs.  You are going to have to admit to yourself that your choices and how you view things have not been working for you or else you wouldn’t need to lose anything. So choose the salad over the burger & fries. Choose the lower calorie ingredient instead of the thick full flavored one and start measuring EVERYTHING! Use measuring cups, spoons, scales EVERYTHING!  Your “judgments” on how much a ½ cup or 1 Tbs. is, well I think I can safely say you’re WRONG. I bet, if by using your judgment you poured into a bowl what you thought to be ½ cup of milk and 1 cup of cereal is and then used actual measuring cups to do the same you would be quite surprised at the difference. Or with you judging you cut yourself a 6 oz. piece of meat to put on your plate and then weighed it on a food scale, again, surprise! When you are counting calories, which is what you need to be doing to lose the weight, then you cannot rely on how you’ve done things in the past because EVERY CALORIE MATTERS when you’re working towards weight loss. 10extra here 15extra there it all adds up at the end of a day.

#4. Track your calories. ALL OF THEM. Sistagirl if it goes in your mouth then track it!  There are many different ways to do this. The most popular seems to be My Fitness Pal and Fit Click. You can sign up on-line, they are free and they both have Aps for your smartphones. I personally chose to do an excel sheet on my computer. It doesn’t really matter at all how you do it, just do it. It’s good for many reasons. It holds yourself accountable for what you are putting into your body and gives you a reference as to where you are spending all your calories. (I personally try and stay between 1100 – 1300 calories a day right now and I try and make those calories count and spread them out throughout the day, my body likes it that way)
#5. Get rid of SUGAR! Either start using all natural sweetener like Honey or Agave or what I did was go to a Zero Calorie sweetener, Splenda. Actually I use the WalMart brand of it and I like it better than real Splenda. Use it in your drinks, recipes, ect… It’s ZERO calories and I think it sweetens better than sugar.
#6. Drink Water..drink drink drink… the “recommended amount is ½ your body weight in ounces. So if you weigh 200 lbs. you should drink 100 ounces of water a day. I try my very hardest to do that. I am hardly ever successful, but so what! I am still drinking water like I’ve never drank it before. Actually I don’t drink just water, I drink lemon water. I buy lemons buy the bag, wash them up and slice ‘em and keep a bowl of fresh lemon slices on hand all the time. It’s just as much a staple in our home as milk is (FYI… I drink Silk Lite Vanilla or Coconut Milk or Almond Milk) I would list the benefits of the lemon water but that would take up another page.. Google it or Bing it, so worth it!
 #7. Fresh Fresh Fresh!! When at all possible, and it’s usually possible, Buy Fresh, Cook Fresh & Eat Fresh. Veggies, Meats, Fruits.. it makes a difference with the calories, the nutrition, and how your body processes it. I’ve not turned into a Vegan or 100% Clean eating (look it up) but it doesn’t change the fact that fresh is best all-around and no, it isn’t always possible to do things that way BUT when it IS possible, then just do it J   We have become so accustomed to fast food, can goods, hamberhelpers in a box, store bought frozen meals. Everybody is so busy. Work, little kids, sports games after school running late for dinner… I know just a well as anybody else how “convenience” can be a lifesaver and when you’re over worked and sleep deprived it can be just what you need in your life… as much as that is the truth so is this, all that quick, fast and convenience has turned us into a horribly obese country. Maybe you don’t want to hear that. Maybe you’re like I was and resistant to change and maybe you’re like me and overweight and sick of being that way? ….….just sayin’
#8. EXERCISE!  Look, anything is better than nothing BUT, if you are looking to lose weight then you have to get your heart rate up. You have to get some cardio going. That can be done in so many ways. Exercise videos, running outside, a tredmill…whatever you like, but the heart rate has to go up to a certain number and you have to keep it there for a certain amount of time for any results. Here’s a quick reference : According to the AMA (American Medical Association) this is a guide to finding your “Target Heart Rate”  :  Take  220 and subtract your age from it and that gives you Max Heart Rate. Take that number and multiply by by 0.5 = this will be the low end of your Target Heart Rate. Take 220 and subtract your age from it. Take that number but this time multiply it by 0.75 = this will be the high end of your Target Heart Rate. So those two numbers are what you strive for during exercise to burn those calories. The higher the heart rate the more calories you burn. Here are my numbers for examples:
220 – 43 yrs = 177 (max)
177 x 0.5 = 88.5  (low end)  177 x 0.75 = 132.75 (high end)
So for me to even start burning some good calories or burn those bad boys to pieces I need to get & keep my Heart Rate at between 88 – 133 beats per minute
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that it needs to stay in your range for at least 20 minutes.
It’s actually easier to do than you think. I mean I just exercised the heck outta your brain with all these numbers haha!  Seriously though…. a jog outside or on the treadmill, a good workout DVD (Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred or Ripped) those are just two of many ways to get you going. Play around with it all and find stuff you either 1, really like or 2, can live with doing it J  AND I wouldn’t be very responsible if I didn’t mention that before starting any exercise routine you should check with your doctor first, especially if you have any underlying health conditions or old injuries.
Can you tell that I am excited about all of this and how committed I am to changing my life?  LOL!  Just in case you haven’t picked up on all of that I AM!!!!   
I could seriously go on & on about all of this but then it would become a book….. (note to self, scan internet for How To’s on getting a book published haha)             The fact of the matter is it’s up to you on what you do and how you do it. I don’t want to mislead anyone. All of this counting and measuring and reading and tracking can become a bit of a nuisance. But I will PROMISE you it is so worth it! You will see & feel the difference.                                                       Not everything works for everybody, but all of this… It’s working for me. I went back to my doctor yesterday. This time I walked in feeling great and I walked out feeling even better. In right under a month I’ve lost 9 lbs. and 10 ½ inches from this 43 yr old body of mine and it just keeps getting better every day. I know I will have days here and there when I’m off task, but that’s ok. Because see, this is not a quick fix. I’m not on any diet nor will I ever be again. This is a complete Life Style Change for me & my hubby, yeap I said hubby. He’s in this with me and is 100% supportive in all that I’m doing, but I will tell you something, I would be doing this even if he were not because I’m not doing it for him or anyone else. I’m doing it all for me. Well that’s not totally true I guess because I want to be around for a long, long time…for my husband, my children, my beautiful granddaughters. I want to be able to be that healthy, happy, spunky, get out & go Wife, Mother and Mimi for many years to come and I just don’t think it would happen like that if I didn’t make these changes. I quit smoking almost 2 years ago now and I thought that was hard… that was a walk in the park compared to doing what I am doing now. But I did it and I am doing this!  
I hope that you’ve been able to relate and if not then I hope you have found it a good read at least J …..and for those who can relate and are going to give it a try I wish you the best !! Search the internet, look for more inspiration, Google or Bing everything, get new recipes, tweak your old ones and by all means if you ever need anything please let me know. I am always here for family or a friend <3
Bing or Google ideas are endless. Here’s just a few to get you started :
Mama Laughlin , My Fitness Pal , Fit Click , Target Heart Rate , Cardio exercise ,   Clean eating ,Why Doesn’t Sandra Ward Have a Best Seller , Benefits of drinking lemon water …….ok, maybe I threw an extra one in there haha :)