I used to think there was two kinds of friends. Friend #1...this person you could hang out with have a laugh now & then, a see ya, when I see ya kind of friend. Obviously you could have many of those friends. Friend #2..this person was your "go to" friend. When the chips were down and the world was collapsing around you OR if you needed to vent or just share what kind of a week you were having and of course in return you were that kind of friend for them. ........like I said, I used to think that.
Thanks to someone in my life, I see there are many types of friends and even though someone may be one kind of friend in your life, at any given time or circumstance that friendship can change and evolve into a whole new & different one. Close friends can become closer, and some of your dearest friends can get farther away.
When you call yourself someones "Best Friend" then you should take that to heart and treat as such. It should never be one sided or taken advantage of. One reason being you're likely to hurt the one who's been there for you when no one else was. Second of all that very person you hurt, the one who's always been there in the past , is likely not to be there in the future.
Toby Keith, a country singer, has a song that reminds me of the type of person I'm talking about. "I wanna talk about me, wanna talk I , wanna talk about number one OH my, me, my. What I think. What I like. What I know. What I want . What I see..... I like talkin about you,you,you,you USUALLY. But Occasionally, I WANNA TALK ABOUT ME!"
If your gonna call yourself a Best Friend. If your gonna represent yourself as a Best Friend...then BE ONE. The friendship should be two-sided. Yes, sometimes one sides needs are greater than the other..Sometimes. When it becomes ALL of the time then there is something wrong on one end and if that needy end refuses to recognize that fact then you may have what some call a Toxic Friendship.
If your unsure of the job duties, then ask around, look it up, observe others that are.
Yes, I said job duties. Just like being a mom, sister or a wife... a Best Friend is somewhat of a Job. It's something that needs constant tending to. Worked at, not thrown on a shelf somewhere to get dusty or forgotten. If you cherish that friendship then you wouldn't want to neglect it, so don't.
At 42 years old, I know what it is I want in my life and what I don't want. I want to be useful, not used. Needed but appreciated. I want to hear all about your day, then will you listen about mine? I wanna be able to trust that when I call upon "you" that you'll be there, just like I would be there for you......
I know that God in Heaven is all of these things for me. But there's nothing wrong with having a Friend on Earth helping him out down here :)
Thanks to someone in my life, I see there are many types of friends and even though someone may be one kind of friend in your life, at any given time or circumstance that friendship can change and evolve into a whole new & different one. Close friends can become closer, and some of your dearest friends can get farther away.
When you call yourself someones "Best Friend" then you should take that to heart and treat as such. It should never be one sided or taken advantage of. One reason being you're likely to hurt the one who's been there for you when no one else was. Second of all that very person you hurt, the one who's always been there in the past , is likely not to be there in the future.
Toby Keith, a country singer, has a song that reminds me of the type of person I'm talking about. "I wanna talk about me, wanna talk I , wanna talk about number one OH my, me, my. What I think. What I like. What I know. What I want . What I see..... I like talkin about you,you,you,you USUALLY. But Occasionally, I WANNA TALK ABOUT ME!"
If your gonna call yourself a Best Friend. If your gonna represent yourself as a Best Friend...then BE ONE. The friendship should be two-sided. Yes, sometimes one sides needs are greater than the other..Sometimes. When it becomes ALL of the time then there is something wrong on one end and if that needy end refuses to recognize that fact then you may have what some call a Toxic Friendship.
If your unsure of the job duties, then ask around, look it up, observe others that are.
Yes, I said job duties. Just like being a mom, sister or a wife... a Best Friend is somewhat of a Job. It's something that needs constant tending to. Worked at, not thrown on a shelf somewhere to get dusty or forgotten. If you cherish that friendship then you wouldn't want to neglect it, so don't.
At 42 years old, I know what it is I want in my life and what I don't want. I want to be useful, not used. Needed but appreciated. I want to hear all about your day, then will you listen about mine? I wanna be able to trust that when I call upon "you" that you'll be there, just like I would be there for you......
I know that God in Heaven is all of these things for me. But there's nothing wrong with having a Friend on Earth helping him out down here :)
:) Nice
ReplyDeletemmmmm, I'm pondering this one. Don't know whats going on with you and your friends (or so called) but I want you to know I'm your friend! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteVery eloquently stated, Sandra. Another way to "test" ANY relationship is to stop rowing the boat (in that particular relationship). A friend will pick up the oars and continue to "row the boat" until you take them back. Those that are using you, will find another boat. . . All relationships require work ("rowing the boat"), but the true friends will be the ones to row when you can't.
ReplyDeleteI love you!
Thank you Gail!... and Debbie you're more than just a friend, you're family... and I do Love me some family!
ReplyDeleteMelanie, I love the "rowing of the boat" metaphor! Unintentionally I handed over the oars to that boat several times and our boat just sat there in the water. Heck, I think I may have even picked up an oar and wacked her with it a time or two to try and get her attention so she'd start rowing ( didn't work by the way) LOL anyways... I'm sure she'll have no problem finding herself another boat to ride in. I honestly wish her well on her endevors. Love you Melanie.
I just had to come back and add this to these comments.. I was scrolling through some old messages this particular "friend" and I had shared back several months ago on Facebook and to my surprise this comment was made to me by Her after we had went to lunch and hung out afterwards talking... "I had a smile on my face the rest of the day. I felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. We always say friendships are like marriages, they take work to last. I'm glad we both want it to last. It's hard to make New Old Friends." like I said, SHE wrote that. Maybe she should have listened to that inner voice of hers? Sadley, we aren't friends any longer but I still feel like I made the right choice. Better to be useful to many than used by one....
ReplyDelete